‘Sponsored Post‘ By Andrius Saulis
One of the biggest excuses men make when they see a really beautiful woman is “She’s out of my league!”
I hear it time and time again, from countless men all over the world. And it breaks my heart when I see men talk themselves out of approaching women who they find very attractive. When the truth of the matter is – You could easily approach and talk to her but you’re being your own worst enemy.
How Do You Know When Someone’s Out of Your League?
I’ve asked hundreds of men what goes through their mind when they see a really hot girl and think she’s out of their league.
Some say they think they’re not good enough for her.
Others say they don’t have anything of value to bring to the table.
Others still say they need to get a better job, more money, a good physique, or a better education to “get with that girl.”
The excuses pile on and on. But the common theme is always the same: They lack something or need to achieve something to feel worthy of beautiful women.
But here’s the one and only thing you actually need to meet and date gorgeous women: A strong and healthy self-esteem.
You have to be secure in yourself as a person. That’s it.
That’s because there’s no such thing as “Leagues.”
They’re made up by people to preserve their ego from the pain of rejection. Because the whole idea of leagues is based on a profound denial of one’s self-worth.
So, when I hear someone say “She’s out of my league.” The only thing I hear is “I have very poor self-esteem and I don’t feel good about myself as a person.” And it’s really quite telling.
But that’s not all! There’s an even more sinister side to this.
You’re Objectifying Women by Putting Them on Pedestals
That’s right! When a guy sees a stunning girl and thinks she’s out of his league, he’s effectively objectifying her.
That’s because he has no real idea about who she is as a person.
He’s basing his entire opinion of her on first impressions and nothing else.
He sees her amazing looks and decides right then and there that he wants to get with her. Without knowing anything at all about her personality or if she’s even a good person or not.
This completely dehumanizes her. And suddenly, she becomes this object of admiration and worship put on a pedestal. With zero regard to who she is as a human being.
I mean, how would he even know what she’s like if he hasn’t even approached her and talked to her yet?
How would he even know if they’d have fun together? Or if they have any chemistry, common ideas, or even something to talk about?
And who the hell knows, maybe she’s an evil, malicious asshole? Maybe she likes to kick puppies and murder baby seals in her spare time?
I’m overdramatizing here, but you get the point.
You actually have to TALK to her to figure these things out and see what kind of person she is. And only then decide if you even want to hang out with her. Without making any prior assumptions, knowing literally nothing about her except for the way she looks.
You’re Being Your Own Worst Enemy When You Think Someone’s Too Good for You
Here’s an example to really drive this point across.
I know a guy who had a huge problem with putting women on pedestals.
Back then he was in his 40s, a multi-millionaire, owner and founder of a couple of successful companies.
He exercised regularly, groomed himself well, had really fun hobbies, was smart and had pretty good social skills. He could easily be the life of the party when surrounded by friends.
But then we went to grab dinner. And the waitress was this smoking hot blonde who looked absolutely amazing.
I noticed his interest in her and asked him why he doesn’t strike up a conversation with her.
And he said “Why would a girl like that ever be interested in me?”
What he said was mind boggling to me and hit me like a ton of bricks.
Seriously, he was so screwed up with the whole “leagues” thing he thought some random hot waitress was OUT OF HIS LEAGUE! When most women would kill for a guy like that to be interested in them!
But in his head, the fact she was really good looking trumped absolutely anything he thought he had to offer. Because he had the belief you have to look like a male model to date and sleep with girls who looked like models.
He put her way above him, without even knowing anything about her.
So, just to prove a point to him, I started chatting her up. I said we’re new in town and just started talking to her about random stuff.
I found out she was a waitress temporarily but she wanted to be an actress or a model. (Shocker, I know!)
I found out she lives in a crappy little apartment not far from there. And most of her day, apart from work, basically consists of going to the gym, taking a ton of pictures, and putting them on Instagram. Then going to parties with friends at night clubs and so on.
She doesn’t read, doesn’t have any hobbies apart from fitness and doesn’t do much of anything with her life.
Although she was pretty down to earth, grew up in a small town and had great manners. So she was very pleasant to talk to.
What’s sad though is that my buddy was really nervous during the whole conversation. It’s as if he suddenly lost all his social skills around her.
For him, her looks overshadowed absolutely everything else about her.
Unfortunately, he couldn’t get over it so he didn’t join in our conversation and didn’t ask her out.
Fortunately, I did ask her out and, surprise, surprise, got her number. Because we had a pleasant conversation. She even had to slip it in on a piece of paper with our check since they’re not allowed to give their numbers to customers.
How To Stop Thinking She’s Out Of Your League
So how do you stop doing what my buddy did? How do you get over this issue?
The answer is to stop thinking of women as a life support system for a vagina. And start thinking of them as people.
Real, regular, normal people who, no matter how hot they may be when out in public, do all the things the rest of us do.
No matter how ridiculously beautiful a woman is, she still breathes, eats, burps, farts, shits, blows her nose, bleeds, cries, laughs and does everything else you do to survive.
She’s a Human Being, Just Like You Are
She has her good days and bad.
Sometimes she looks great, sometimes she looks like crap. Especially after a night of heavy partying.
Sometimes she gets sick and her body and face bloats up. While drool and snot run from every part of her face. And sometimes she takes half a day to do her hair, put on her makeup and look like a million dollars.
Just like you and me, she says stupid shit that makes people think she’s an idiot. And when she gets in the zone, she says clever and smart things that impress everyone around.
She has her own likes, dislikes, wants, needs, desires, motivations, aspirations and goals in life. And just like you, she’s riddled with insecurities, doubt, fear, anxiety and lack of confidence.
Point is, there can never be any “leagues” when you realize that we’re all just humans who go through life as best we can. Just winging it, one day at a time.
Sure, some women will have really expensive tastes and ridiculously high standards. Just as some men will.
Some women will not date you unless you’re a millionaire. Or look like a Greek god, for example.
And that’s perfectly fine; everyone has their own tastes and you can’t be a great match for every person you meet.
But you can’t assume any of these things without actually going up to the hottie and TALKING to her. Because when you do this, when you assume someone won’t like you, you’re killing any chance of success before you even begin. Which is just plain stupid.
There are plenty of high-class, quality women who look amazing who will date regular guys. But only if those guys have their shit together and aren’t weird, needy, or desperate.
That’s because it’s not about what you do, it’s not about the things you own or how amazing you look. It’s all about how you make women FEEL when they’re with you. That’s the only thing that matters.
That’s why you’ll sometimes see ridiculously good-looking women with guys who look absolutely nothing special. But they are special: They BELIEVE in themselves, they like themselves, and they are fun to hang out with.
How to Approach and Talk to Women Without Putting Them on Pedestals
Finally, here’s a practical lesson for you, to raise your chances of success with women instantly.
Let’s say you’re at some event and you see a woman who you find very attractive.
Instead of thinking of all the reasons why you shouldn’t approach her, run the following through your mind:
“Damn, you look amazing! But are you actually a nice and interesting person underneath those great looks? Would we have fun hanging out together? Let’s find out!”
And then you approach her and FIGURE OUT WHO SHE IS. By taking a genuine interest in her as a person and finding out what she’s all about.
This small tweak in your thought process will do wonders for your approach.
It prevents putting her on a pedestal instantly. And it also subtly changes your entire sub-communication.
All of your mannerisms, body language, eye-contact, etc. will change for the better. If you truly immerse yourself in that thought and believe it.
And let me tell you, your subconscious communication will tell women much more about you than your words ever could. It’s that important.
You’ll also be rejected much less. Because suddenly you’re no longer there to see if she likes you. You’re there to figure out if YOU would like her and want to hang out with her. Subtle, yet very powerful.
When you use this mindset while you approach women, you’ll be able to get a lot of numbers and dates. And when you do, make sure you know how to have a successful first date every single time. So you can build as many serious or casual sexual relationships with women as you want.
When I approach women, this is one of the core mindsets I have. And it helps me tremendously.
I guarantee it will help you as well. Good luck!
Author Bio:
Andrius Saulis is a professional dating coach and educator with over a decade of hands-on experience, who shows men how to deal with their insecurities and self-esteem issues. And teaches guys how to have consistently great dates that end up in casual hookups or serious relationships.
