When you think of dating in your hometown over the holidays, you probably think of one of two scenarios.
Scenario one: you’re a plucky New York reporter who’s on the verge of your big break. Your boss knows that you’re going back to your hometown for Christmas and so is that super popular athlete. He gives you the assignment to learn about them and you begrudgingly take the assignment. Fast forward through awkward encounters, snowfall at christmas tree farms, and you accidentally find the love of your life. Christmas card perfect.
Scenario two: you absolutely dread going back to your hometown and avoid leaving your parents’ house when you do for fear you’ll run into someone you knew from high school. Your mom tries to set you up with “really nice people” who you don’t vibe with at all. You don’t spend as much time with your old friends as you’d like because they’re all paired off and having babies already. You end up spending most of your time at home, alone, binge watching New Girl for the 2304023948th time.
Okay so maybe those are two extreme possibilities. You probably fall somewhere in the middle. No matter what your feelings are towards going home for the holidays, we’re here to help you prepare to make the best of it.
Tips for Keeping It Together
Keep It Light
Don’t put too much pressure on holiday dates. It’s likely not going to be a hallmark movie where you fall in love at the Christmas tree farm. (Although, if it’s in the stars, we love that for you.) But focus on having fun and enjoying the holiday season without too much pressure.
Be Open About Expectations
You don’t need to have a full on DTR before your date, but if at some point you get worried that your date is starting to catch feelings while you’re just looking to have fun while you’re in town, or vice versa, make sure you express that. The best way to avoid awkward situations or confrontation about unmet expectations is to just communicate those expectations in the first place.
It’s also important to be open about expectations with family members. If you really don’t want to go out with the person you’re great aunt Cheryl is trying to set you up with, you don’t have to! Read this blog post for more tips on how to survive awkward conversations from well-meaning family members about your dating life.
Maintain Independence
Meeting new people and spending time with dates is important, but don’t make dating your sole focus. Maintain some independence and enjoy your own holiday traditions. This way, your holiday memories for the year aren’t made or broken by the outcome of your dating experiences. Make some time for yourself and take yourself on a date. Spend quality time with family and friends. There’s so much to celebrate and so many holiday activities that don’t require a significant other.
Stay Positive
Focus on the joy and love that the holiday season brings! This isn’t meant to be a “sweep everything under the rug and pretend everything’s okay” statement, and it’s much easier said than done, but we do tend to find what we’re looking for in a situation. If you look for bad, you’ll find it. But if you find good things to focus on throughout the holidays, you’re bound to find something to celebrate this holiday season. Remember that Jesus Christ is the true reason that we celebrate, and in Him, you can always find joy.
Hometown Holiday Date Ideas
Maybe there’s someone you know from growing up that you’ve had your eye on for a while and you want to finally make your move. Maybe you cringe at the thought of dating someone you know from back home but can’t wait to see what new out-of-towners show up on your Mutual swiping feed. Either way, we’ve got some ideas to make your dating experience a little more magical.
- Local holiday events and activities. Hit up your city’s website or your local ward’s newsletter to find some festive activities you can bring someone to. Try looking for things like christmas tree lightings, holiday markets and fairs, winter festivals, community caroling, or things that are unique to your community.
- Cozy movie nights with a holiday twist. This can be with a big group of people or a more intimate one-on-one date. There are so many fun, holiday movies you can watch together, and the Christmas tree lighting adds a magical kind of ambiance. Don’t forget a holiday themed treat!
- DIY holiday crafts and decorations. – if you don’t have any good ideas, ask your mom or check out Pinterest or TikTok.
- Volunteering together. – food drives or toy collections or soup kitchens or shoveling snow.
- Dress up and go to a party. – ugly sweater parties, new years eve parties.
- Share your family traditions. – share your favorite traditions and learn about their favorite traditions.
Whether you’re hoping for a Hallmark movie Christmas love story experience or just want to make it through without falling apart, following these tips can help you to stop dreading your visit home this holiday. Be open to new experiences, don’t put too much pressure on yourself, and focus on the good, and you’re sure to find some holiday magic.
