Do Men Like It When Women Make the First Move? | Blog

Dating is essentially a game of cat and mouse, where the man is the cat and the woman is the mouse. But what happens when women initiate contact with the man? Do men like it when women make the first move, or are you setting yourself up for failure?

Although we’re told through media and fairytales that men should be the knight in shining armour that makes the first move, that doesn’t have to be the case. 

Women are free to make the first move, but what happens when they do?

Do Men Like It When Women Make the First Move?

ask him out

While individual preferences vary, many men appreciate it when women make the first move. This gesture can be refreshing and boost confidence, as it shows a woman’s interest and decisiveness.

Making the first move can also ease the pressure typically placed on men to initiate romantic interest

Psychologically, it helps create a balanced dynamic where both parties feel equally invested from the start.

When a woman initiates, it serves as a clear and direct signal of attraction, reducing ambiguity and encouraging open communication.

Ultimately, the appreciation for such gestures depends on personal comfort levels and cultural conditioning, but there is growing openness to this dynamic in contemporary dating practices.

Why Do Guys Like It When Women Do the Chasing?

girl chasing

Men often appreciate it when women take the initiative because it offers a refreshing change from traditional gender roles and provides much-needed affirmation.

In many cultures, men are rarely on the receiving end of compliments, and the lack of such positive reinforcement can leave them feeling undervalued. 

When a woman makes the first move, it not only communicates her interest clearly but also acts as a significant confidence booster for the man. Knowing that someone is genuinely interested in you can be incredibly flattering and validating. 

This shift in dynamics can lead to more open and honest communication, fostering a balanced and mutual romantic connection right from the start.

Why Do Some Guys Not Like It When a Woman Makes the First Move?

While many men appreciate women taking the initiative, some may feel uncomfortable with this approach due to entrenched societal norms and personal beliefs.

  • The traditional relationship expectation is that men are the pursuers, which can make them feel emasculated or less competent if they are not the ones initiating.
  • Some men may interpret a woman’s proactive behaviour as too forward or aggressive, which might not align with their personal taste or cultural background.
  • The element of pride; some men may feel that their role in the dating game is diminished, affecting their sense of self-worth.

How to Make The First Move & Secure That First Date

girl chatting in park

If there’s someone you’ve got your eye on and you’re thinking about making the first move instead of waiting for them to do it, here are some dating tips from our seasoned dating experts to help you nail your approach!

1. Be Confident in Yourself

Confidence is key when making the first move because it projects self-assurance and genuine interest, making you more attractive to the other person. 

When you believe in yourself, it eases nerves and allows you to approach the situation with a positive mindset. This confidence translates into clearer communication, reducing misunderstandings and making your intentions unmistakable.

Ultimately, being confident sets a positive tone, encouraging a favourable and open response.

2. Remember: The Worst That Can Happen is They Say “No”

girl chatting on sofa

Rejection is a natural part of dating and not a reflection of your worth. If they say “no”, it simply means it wasn’t a match, which isn’t the end of the world. 

This leaves you open to new possibilities and the chance to find someone who reciprocates your interest.

So, take the leap, knowing that even a “no” is just a step closer to finding the right person. 

3. Be Your Charming Self

Being genuine is your greatest asset when making the first move. Authenticity shines through and sets you apart, making your intentions more relatable and sincere.

Pretending to be someone you’re not can lead to discomfort and potential misunderstandings, and it’s also just not the most authentic or effective way to start a relationship.

When you’re true to yourself, you project trustworthiness and allow the other person to see who you really are. It also prevents the guy from wondering what your real motive is.

4. Don’t Forget to Pay Him a Compliment

compliments

Men are often starved of compliments, as societal norms don’t typically encourage them to receive or seek affirmations.

By giving him a genuine compliment, you can make a powerful impact, boosting his self-esteem and making him feel noticed and appreciated

This can be a winning tactic, as it breaks the norm and provides a refreshing validation, which can make you stand out and foster a deeper connection.

A simple, heartfelt compliment can go a long way in capturing his attention and creating a positive impression. Just remember to make sure it’s a genuine compliment rather than just a generic line.

5. Reuse The Cheesiest Pick-Up Lines You’ve Heard

While it might seem counterintuitive, reusing the cheesiest pick-up lines you’ve ever heard can actually be a winning tactic.

These lines, due to their lighthearted and humorous nature, can break the ice and make the other person laugh, easing any initial tension and leading to a fun conversation.

Additionally, using such lines shows that you’re not taking yourself too seriously and are willing to be playful, which can be incredibly endearing. Just ensure the delivery is confident and in good spirits to maximise the charm factor.

Why Are Women Reluctant to Make a Move on a Crush?

nervous flirting

You just have to read a romance novel or watch a rom-com to know that it’s usually the man who does the chasing and makes all the moves. But why are women so reluctant to take the plunge when they like a man?

1. They Lack Confidence

A lot of women lack confidence when it comes to asking men out or making the first move to strike up a conversation. Having rarely needed to flex their pick-up muscles, it can be daunting to approach a man you like and make a move on them.

Essentially, making the first move for an adult woman can feel like making the first move on your crush at school for men, and it can be a significant barrier to love.

2. They’re Scared of Rejection

scare of hearing no

Fear of rejection often holds women back from making the first move. The prospect of hearing a “no” can be daunting and emotionally bruising, which discourages many from taking the leap.

This anxiety over potential negative outcomes can overshadow the willingness to express interest, making women hesitant to approach someone they fancy, even if the interest is reciprocated.

3. It’s Tradition for the Man to Chase

Traditional relationship dynamics suggest that men should pursue while women remain passive, making it hard for women to take the initiative. 

From a young age, many women learn to wait for men to make the first move, believing that taking the lead is unladylike or inappropriate.

These ingrained dynamics create significant psychological barriers, leaving many women reluctant to make the first move despite genuine interest and capability.

4. It’s Not What Most Women Do

not what most do

The reluctance of most women to make the first move often creates a feedback loop that perpetuates this behaviour. 

Seeing that few women take the initiative can reinforce the idea that it’s unusual or inappropriate, deterring others from stepping out of their comfort zones.

This widespread hesitation contributes to a social norm where women wait for men to express interest, making it even more challenging for those who might otherwise consider making the first move.

5. They Don’t Want to Seem Desperate

There’s a stigma attached to being perceived as “desperate” in relationships, which can discourage women from making the first move. 

They may worry that initiating contact or showing interest might make them seem overly eager or needy, potentially scaring away the person they like.

This fear of appearing too forward can make women reluctant to take action, even if they genuinely want to pursue someone.

Key Takeaways: Do Men Like It When a Girl Makes the First Move?

So, do men really like it when women make the first move? The short answer is yes! 

While individual preferences and cultural conditioning may play a role in this dynamic, many men appreciate women taking the initiative and find it refreshing and flattering.

If you’re considering making the first move on someone you like, remember to be genuine and confident and not be afraid of rejection.

If you’re ready to find someone to make the first move on, sign up for early access to the Finding The One app – the dating app for people serious about finding love!

FAQs

Why Do Guys Not Like Making the First Move?

Some guys might not like making the first move due to fear of rejection, lack of confidence, or feeling pressure from societal expectations to always be the initiator. This anxiety can discourage them from stepping forward, making the dating process stressful.

Why Do Women Wait for Men to Make the First Move?

Women often wait for men to make the first move due to traditional gender roles, fear of rejection, and societal expectations that label proactive behaviour as too forward. These factors combine to make many women hesitant to initiate romantic interest.

Is It Good for a Girl to Make the First Move?

Yes, it is good for a girl to make the first move. It demonstrates confidence, reduces ambiguity, and can lead to a balanced, mutual dynamic from the start. Men often appreciate the clear signal of interest, making the dating experience more engaging and less stressful for both parties.

What to Do When a Guy Likes You But Won’t Make a Move?

If a guy likes you but won’t make a move, consider taking the initiative yourself. Express your interest confidently and directly; it can relieve the pressure he might feel. This approach helps create clarity, encourages open communication, and increases the chances of a mutual connection.

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