Dating in general sucks these days. It’s gotten worse for many, but people are still having success: people are still meeting in person and people are still meeting people via apps.
If you look at posts on Reddit, Quora or social media posts on Instagram or Tik-Tok, dating is hopeless.
That said, I am optimistic about dating, but I am also realistic about the struggles, biases and difficulties people face (even within their own race). It’s important not to dwell on these corner cases but rather acknowledge they exist and focus on yourself and what you can control and influence.
Below are some stories, anecdotes, insights about dating a BIPOC (men and women) and what you can do to date more effectively and efficiently so you don’t end up in a bottomless pit of despair.
While it’s important to understand nuance, context, deal-breakers etc. it’s also helpful to comprehend things like biases, filters, preferences and algorithms as these things can make dating even more difficult if you don’t know how to navigate these variables.
Dating As A BIPOC Man
Most of the frustrations of BIPOC men have to do with a perceived preference of women to date men who are Caucasian. Dating statistics and studies on preferences and race are all over the place, but what you are likely to read on public posts are one of three things:
- BIPOC women who date men in/outside their race (more competition)
- BIPOC women who don’t date within their race
- Women prefer to date someone lighter-skinned than they are.
- Inability to compete with white men, let alone ones who are tall.
These views are even worst for folks who use and rely on dating apps for all or even most of their dating efforts. Unfortunately social media, red pill Subreddits and misogynistic YT channels feed into these beliefs and tend to blame women and other men rather than do the more obvious thing which is to focus on oneself, unfortunately.
More on what to do below.
