Quarrelling over crushes and who has dibs on who seems like a problem you’d leave behind in secondary school, but unfortunately, it can still occur when you’re a single adult navigating the dating scene.
What’s even more difficult is when your crush ends up liking someone else instead of you, especially when they’re a close friend. It can feel like a double blow and leave you wondering what to do when your crush likes your best friend (ouch).
Although this can be a tough situation to handle, there are ways to deal with it and move on. We’ve taken our dating experience to help you know what to do when your crush likes your best friend and how to get over unrequited love.
What is a Crush?
A crush is a strong, often temporary, infatuation with someone, typically characterised by intense admiration and desire.
It can be sparked by physical attraction, charisma, or specific qualities that resonate with you. Crushes are usually rooted in idealisation and fantasy, making them powerful yet sometimes fleeting emotions.
If I Have a Crush On Someone, Do I Love Them?
No, having a crush on someone doesn’t necessarily mean you love them. A crush is typically an infatuation or temporary attraction, whereas love involves deeper emotional connection and understanding built over time.
It’s best to play it cool if you have a crush!
What to Do When Your Crush Likes Your Best Friend
Having a crush on someone is the easiest way to feel like your teenage self again, but even as an adult, it still comes with the same pitfalls as 10 or 20 years ago.
Here’s our advice on what to do when you find out that your crush likes your best friend instead of you.
Ask Yourself: Do You Really Have a Crush?
Introspection is key to telling a crush apart from strong friendship feelings. Reflecting on your emotions helps you figure out if your attraction is just physical or something deeper.
This self-check can prevent misunderstandings and protect your relationship with your best friend.
By assessing your feelings, you can make better decisions and avoid unnecessary heartache, ensuring your actions come from genuine affection rather than a fleeting infatuation.
Do You Want Your Crush to Develop Into Deeper Feelings?
Determining whether you want your crush to develop into deeper feelings is crucial because it helps you understand your true intentions and desires.
This clarity can guide your actions and decisions, ensuring you’re pursuing genuine affection and not just acting on temporary emotions.
| If you want something more from your crush, you’ll need to discuss the situation with your friend and perhaps even the crush themselves. If you don’t want more with this person, it’s time to start moving on from the crush. |
What to Do If Your Friend Likes Them Back
Your crush liking your best friend is a little more than inconvenient and slightly humbling until it turns out that they like your crush back.
When there’s a chance that a relationship might develop out of these feelings, you need to take control of your own feelings fast.
Here are our top tips for what to do if your friend likes your crush back.
#1 Talk to Your Best Friend About It
Open dialogue with your best friend is essential in this situation because communication is key to maintaining trust and transparency in your relationship.
By expressing your feelings honestly, you can prevent misunderstandings and avoid harbouring resentment.
This conversation allows both of you to address the situation maturely, respect each other’s emotions, and discuss necessary boundaries to ensure your friendship remains strong despite these complications.
#2 Be Accepting of Their Feelings
Accepting your best friend’s feelings is crucial for maintaining a healthy friendship. Recognise that their emotions are valid, and they have the right to pursue their own happiness.
By being understanding, you demonstrate maturity and respect, which can help strengthen your bond.
Although it may be challenging, acceptance allows you both to navigate this situation with grace and empathy, preserving the valuable friendship you share.
We’re all human, and it’s likely that you won’t feel happy for your friend in the moment due to your feelings for your crush. If you need to, it’s okay to take yourself out of the situation to compose yourself.
Are You Willing to Lose a Friendship Over This Situation?Before taking any action, consider if your feelings for your crush are worth potentially losing a valuable friendship. Prioritise the importance of your bond and weigh it against your emotions to make a balanced, thoughtful decision. |
#3 Set Boundaries to Protect Your Mental Health
Setting boundaries with your friend around the information you wish to know about their relationship is vital for protecting your mental health.
Decide what you can handle hearing and communicate this clearly to your best friend. This will help you manage your emotions and prevent unnecessary stress or hurt, allowing you to focus on healing and maintaining your own well-being.
#4 Invest in Yourself
Investing in yourself is a pivotal step in moving on from unrequited love. Engaging in hobbies and self-care activities can help redirect your focus and boost your overall well-being.
Whether you take up a new hobby, such as painting, hiking, or learning a musical instrument, or simply spending more time doing activities you enjoy, these pursuits can be both distracting and fulfilling.
Additionally, prioritising self-care practices like regular exercise, meditation, or pampering yourself with a spa day can improve your mental and physical health.
Focusing on personal growth and happiness can build resilience and regain a sense of control over one’s emotions, paving the way for new and positive experiences.
#5 Spend Time With Loved Ones
Spending time with loved ones can help you deal with the situation by providing emotional support and a sense of belonging.
Engaging in activities with family and friends can lift your mood, reduce feelings of isolation, and remind you of the meaningful relationships you already have.
Their understanding and empathy can offer comfort, helping you heal and gain a fresh perspective on unrequited feelings.
How to Know If Your Crush Likes Your Best Friend
Recognising that your crush has feelings for your best friend can be difficult, but certain signs can help you understand the situation better.
Here are some indicators that your crush may like your best friend:
| Increased Attention & Interaction | Crush seeks opportunities to be around your best friend, initiates conversations, and shows interest in their life. |
| Body Language | Use positive body language toward your best friend, such as facing them directly, making eye contact, smiling often, or demonstrating physical closeness. |
| Compliments & Flirting | Crush compliments your best friend more than usual, uses playful or teasing tones, and gives thoughtful compliments. |
| Prioritising Time | Crush consistently chooses to spend time with your best friend over others, makes plans, or attends events together. |
| Observing Reactions | Crush seems more animated, nervous, or eager when your best friend is around. |
| Social Media Behaviour | Crush frequently likes, comments on, or shares your best friend’s social media posts. |
Identifying these signs can help you understand your crush’s feelings and navigate the situation with clarity and maturity.
Key Takeaways: How to Handle When Your Crush Likes Your Best Friend Instead
Handling this situation healthily is crucial for your emotional well-being. It prevents prolonged heartache, helps maintain your self-esteem, and preserves your valuable friendships.
By acknowledging and processing your feelings constructively, you can avoid resentment and foster personal growth, ensuring you remain resilient and open to future positive experiences.
If you’re ready to move on from your crush to something more serious, sign up for early access to the Finding The One app – for people who are serious about finding love!
And if you’re not quite ready to move on yet, check out the Finding The One blog to find 8 Tips For How To Get Over Someone You Never Dated from our seasoned relationship experts.
FAQs
Is It OK to Be Best Friends With Your Crush?
Yes, it’s okay to be best friends with your crush (although it puts a different spin on your crush liking your best friend!). However, it’s essential to manage your emotions and set clear boundaries to ensure the friendship remains healthy and respectful and to avoid any potential emotional complications.
When to Walk Away From a Crush?
Walk away from a crush if your feelings cause emotional distress, jeopardise valuable relationships, or if there’s no possibility of mutual interest. Prioritising your mental well-being and respecting boundaries ensures a healthy emotional state and safeguards your friendships.
How Do You Accept That Your Crush Likes Your Friend?
Acceptance involves acknowledging your crush’s feelings and focusing on your own well-being. Embrace the situation as an opportunity for personal growth, maintain open communication with your friend, and invest time in activities and relationships that uplift you, ensuring a healthy emotional transition.
How to Get Over a Crush?
To get over a crush, focus on yourself by engaging in hobbies, spending time with loved ones, and practising self-care. Set emotional boundaries, limit contact if needed, and shift your attention to personal growth and new experiences to heal and move on.
