Embarking on a new relationship is naturally a nerve-wracking time, but when those feelings expand beyond the pre-date butterflies, it could be a sign that you have new relationship anxiety.
More than just a slight fear of commitment or a touch of shyness, new relationship anxiety can feel overwhelming and have an effect on how your relationship progresses.
But don’t worry. You’re not alone.
Many people experience this type of anxiety when starting a new relationship, and there are ways to cope and overcome it.
What is New Relationship Anxiety?
New relationship anxiety is all about those jitters and uncertainties that pop up when you start seeing someone new. It’s totally normal to feel extra self-aware or insecure as you dive into the early stages of getting close to someone.
You might find yourself overthinking things, struggling to communicate, or just really wanting to impress them.
| New relationship anxiety isn’t a diagnosable anxiety disorder. The way it manifests for you may fit into a Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD) diagnosis or other mental health diagnosis. We recommend seeing a mental health professional if you’re concerned about your levels of anxiety. |
What Causes New Relationship Anxiety?
There are a few common causes of new relationship anxiety that you might have experienced that may predispose you to feeling this way.
One biggie is previous relationship experiences.
If you’ve dealt with heartbreak, betrayal, or tough breakups, it’s no wonder you might fear going through that all over again. This fear ramps up anxiety when you start something new because you’re bracing for similar issues.
Then there’s self-esteem, which plays a huge part. If you’re not feeling great about yourself, you might doubt if you deserve love or worry you’re not enough for your partner, and that just fuels the insecurity fire.
Plus, social comparison doesn’t help – comparing yourself to perfect-looking peers or those ideal relationships in the media only makes it worse.
All these factors tangle together, creating a cycle of anxiety that makes it hard to dive into new relationships. But spotting these triggers is key to tackling and overcoming that anxiety.
How Can Early Relationship Anxiety Affect Your Relationships?
Early relationship anxiety can really affect how you interact with your partner and the overall vibe of the relationship.
One of the most common things that can happen is poor communication; anxious people might find it tough to share their feelings or concerns, which can lead to misunderstandings and issues that just hang around.
This lack of openness can make partners feel distant, making it harder to build that crucial intimacy and trust.
Also, folks with relationship anxiety might avoid things like pulling away from the relationship, holding back emotionally or hesitating to fully commit.
This can create a cycle where the anxious person feels more and more isolated, and their partner might feel rejected or confused about what’s going on.
Plus, the pressure to meet certain expectations can increase stress, affecting how much you enjoy and feel fulfilled in the relationship.
Spotting these patterns early can help build healthier connections so you can tackle anxiety together.
Signs of Relationship Anxiety to Look Out For
If you’re concerned about experiencing relationship anxiety as you get back into the dating scene, or you feel that your new partner might be getting cold feet about your connection, it can be helpful to know what the common signs of relationship anxiety are.
| Here are the most common signs of relationship anxiety. Some are internal, and some are external.
Constant Overthinking: You may find yourself obsessively analysing conversations, actions, or situations, worried about every little detail that could indicate a problem. You might also seek constant reassurance. Difficulty Communicating: You might struggle to express your feelings or needs, leading to misunderstandings and feelings of disconnect with your partner. An anxious partner may shut down conversations. Fear of Abandonment: A strong sense of fear that your partner will leave you or become uninterested, which can manifest in clingy behaviour or a feeling of being paranoid. This often stems from past relationships, which trigger a fear of rejection. Comparing to Others: Frequently comparing your relationship to others, like friends or couples you see on social media, can undermine your confidence in your own relationship. Withdrawal: Pulling away emotionally or physically from your partner due to intense fear or anxiety creates a barrier to finding love that hinders intimacy. It can also have a significant impact on your mental health. Nervousness During Important Moments: Feeling increased anxiety during milestones or significant discussions, such as defining the relationship or discussing future plans. Physical Symptoms: Experiencing physical signs of anxiety, such as an increased heart rate, sweating, or difficulty sleeping when thinking about your relationship. |
Noticing these signs can help you spot relationship anxiety in yourself or your partner, making it easier to have open chats and figure out ways to handle these feelings together.
How to Talk to Your Partner About Relationship Anxiety
Discussing relationship anxiety can be daunting, but addressing it openly can pave the way for a stronger connection and help you both work through it together so your relationship can flourish.
| Here’s a guide on how to approach this sensitive topic:
1. Choose the Right Time: Find a calm, private moment to talk, free from distractions. Ensure both you and your partner are in a relaxed state so the conversation can flow more easily. 2. Be Honest & Direct: Use “I” statements to express your feelings without sounding accusatory. For example, say, “I feel anxious when…” instead of “You make me feel anxious”. 3. Share Your Experiences: Let your partner know if you’ve experienced anxiety in previous relationships or if specific situations trigger your anxiety. This context can help them understand your feelings better. 4. Encourage Them to Share: Ask your partner about their feelings and experiences with relationship anxiety. Let them express their thoughts without interruption, showing that their perspective is valued. 5. Practice Active Listening: Show empathy and understanding as your partner shares their feelings. Reflect on what they say to ensure they feel heard and validate their emotions. 6. Discuss Potential Solutions Together: Collaborate on strategies to manage and alleviate anxiety. Whether it’s setting aside quality time, practising mindfulness, being more transparent in communication, or seeking professional help such as online therapy, working as a team can strengthen your bond. 7. Reassure Your Partner: Reiterate your commitment to building a healthy relationship and your desire to work together through challenges. This reassurance can help reduce anxiety and build trust. |
By handling the conversation with care and thoughtfulness, you can create a supportive space that encourages openness and connection, making it easier for you and your partner to tackle relationship anxiety together.
Key Takeaways: How to Keep New Relationship Anxiety From Affecting Romantic Relationships
You can definitely handle new relationship anxiety without letting it mess up your romantic connections. Spotting your triggers, keeping communication open, and building trust with a compatible partner can create a supportive vibe.
Being kind to yourself and getting professional help if needed will also help you manage these feelings, making your relationship stronger.
If you’re still feeling anxious about your new relationship, find out how to slow down a relationship without ending it to help you get back on track.
FAQs
Is It Normal to Feel Anxiety in a New Relationship?
Yes, it is normal to experience anxiety in a new relationship. Many individuals feel apprehensive due to uncertainties and past experiences. Acknowledging these feelings can be the first step towards managing anxiety and fostering a healthier connection.
Does Relationship Anxiety Go Away?
Relationship anxiety can diminish over time with open communication, self-awareness, and coping strategies. While it may not entirely disappear, understanding its roots and working through it together can lead to a healthier and more fulfilling connection.
Why Does My Relationship Give Me Anxiety?
Relationship anxiety often stems from past experiences, insecurities, or fear of vulnerability. It can manifest as overthinking, communication issues, and emotional withdrawal. Understanding these triggers can help address anxiety, fostering healthier dynamics in your romantic relationship.
Should I Tell My Partner About My Relationship Anxiety?
Yes, discussing your relationship anxiety with your partner can foster understanding and support. Open communication helps to clarify feelings and establish trust, allowing both partners to work together in overcoming challenges and strengthening their bond.
