There’s nothing quite like the feelings of nervousness and excitement you get before going on a first date. There’s no denying that first-date nerves are a culmination of intense emotions, but we don’t have to let them get the better of us!
While being excited and a little nervous about your date is normal, it can take the shine off the moment if we don’t keep things in check.
We’ve used years of dating experience to give you our top tips on how to get rid of first-date nerves to ensure your next encounter goes as smoothly as possible.
8 Top Tips On How to Get Rid of First Date Nerves
We’ve had our fair share of disastrous dates over the years, most of which were caused by jitters that got out of control. We suffered through those dates and learned coping mechanisms so you don’t have to (you’re welcome, we guess?).
Take note of our top tips on how to get over first-date nerves to help you breeze through your upcoming date like you’re Mr Darcy or Marilyn Monroe!
1. Practice Mindfulness Techniques
Feeling nervous before a date? Mindfulness techniques can really help by keeping you grounded in the present.
By focusing on your breathing and body, mindfulness helps shift your thoughts away from future worries or past experiences.
Whether it’s deep breathing, meditation, or yoga, these practices can ease anxiety symptoms like a racing heart or sweaty palms by calming your nervous system.
With mindfulness, you can go into your date with a clear mind, making it easier to genuinely connect and enjoy the moment without getting overwhelmed by nerves.
| For the best results, we’d recommend making mindfulness part of your daily routine, as it’s not really a quick fix before a date. It can also make you a calmer and happier person in general! |
2. Go for a Brisk Walk Just Before the Date
Taking a brisk walk is a great way to shake off nervous energy before your date. As you walk around the block, the physical activity kicks in endorphins – nature’s mood boosters – that can really help with anxiety.
Plus, the fresh air and change of scenery give you a mental reset, clearing your mind and making you feel more refreshed and centred.
This light exercise also boosts blood flow, easing any muscle tension from stress.
With this mix of activity and mental clarity, you’ll feel calm and confident, ready to enjoy your date (and it’s also a great solution if your anxiety makes you show up an hour early for everything!).
3. Prepare Conversation Starters
Worried about those awkward silences on a first date? It’s totally normal.
Having some conversation starters ready can really help ease that anxiety and keep things flowing. If the chat starts to lag, having a few topics up your sleeve gives you something to fall back on.
Plus, it shows you’re thoughtful and interested in getting to know the other person better, so it’s a double win!
| Here are some interesting conversation starters you might consider:
1. “What’s the most interesting place you’ve visited and why?” – This question invites your date to share a personal experience, leading to potentially rich storytelling. |
4. Talk It Out With a Friend
Chatting with a friend about your feelings and date anxiety can be incredibly calming. Just getting your worries out of your head and into the open makes them feel less overwhelming and more manageable.
A good friend can offer a fresh perspective and might even have some calming advice from their own experiences. Whether they share a similar story or just reassure you that your feelings are totally normal, friends are great at providing support and validation.
Talking things out helps you process those fears, and you’ll often realise they’re not as scary as they first seemed.
5. Plan a Fun Activity for the Date
Choosing a fun activity instead of the usual dinner or drinks can really take the pressure off a first date.
| Think about trying something like…
1. Mini-golf |
These kinds of shared experiences naturally get the conversation going and let you work together. It shifts the focus away from the sometimes awkward task of keeping a chat going over dinner.
With something to do, you and your date can relax and let the conversation flow more easily, sprinkled with laughter and shared moments.
It takes away the need for forced small talk and lets you both enjoy the moment more, maybe even discovering other common interests along the way.
6. Set Realistic Expectations
Remember, no first date has to be perfect. The main aim is to get to know each other better, not make any big life decisions.
You’re there to see if you like spending time together and if there’s enough interest for a second date.
There’s no need to push for instant love or convince them you’re soulmates just yet! Keep your expectations realistic, and it’ll take the pressure off both of you, making it easier to relax and enjoy.
7. Meditate With Deep Breaths
Meditation can be a great way to calm those pre-date nerves and keep you grounded.
Just taking a few deep, intentional breaths can really help lower anxiety, even if you need to sneak off to the bathroom for a quick breather before or even during your date.
Deep breathing works wonders by triggering your body’s natural relaxation response to counter stress.
Plus, using guided meditation apps, like Headspace or Calm*, before heading out can set a chill vibe and ease any nervous anticipation.
| *These apps have tons of meditations specifically designed to reduce stress and anxiety, helping you feel more centred and relaxed for your date. |
8. Pep Talk the First Date Jitters Away
Talking to yourself can be a great confidence booster before a first date. Just remind yourself of your awesome qualities and past successes to reinforce your self-worth and focus on what makes you unique and interesting.
This little pep talk can switch your mindset from doubt or anxiety to self-assurance and optimism.
Picture the date going smoothly, and remember it’s just a chance to meet someone new and have a good time.
With this positive outlook, those initial nerves can fade, leaving you feeling more relaxed and ready to enjoy the experience without jitters getting in the way.
Boost your confidence more by discovering What to Wear on a First Date: Ideas for Men & Women
Why Do You Get First Date Anxiety?
There are many reasons why you might experience first-date anxiety that goes beyond the natural nerves we all get when meeting someone new for the first time.
Here are some of the most common reasons why you might struggle with first-date nerves more than most.
You Have a Fear of Judgment
Feeling anxious about a first date because of a fear of judgment is totally normal.
This anxiety often kicks in when you start worrying about how others see you and wanting to make a good impression.
As the date gets closer, you might find yourself stressing over being judged, rejected, or even being ghosted.
This kind of thinking can make you super self-conscious, ramping up your nerves. It can even keep you from being relaxed and yourself during the date.
You Struggle With Social Anxiety
Dealing with social anxiety can turn what should be an exciting experience into something really stressful.
Meeting someone new can feel less thrilling and more like a bundle of nerves and worry. This makes it tough to enjoy the moment and can really get in the way of forming genuine connections.
But hey, there’s good news! Getting professional help for anxiety can make a big difference. Therapists can offer coping strategies and techniques to handle anxiety better, making dating a lot more relaxed and fun.
With the right support, overcoming these challenges is totally possible, letting you enjoy the adventure of meeting new people.
You Stress About Being at Your Best
First dates are all about making the right first impression to secure a second date and potentially start a new relationship. That means it’s important to present your best self on the day.
This can be difficult if you struggle with date anxiety or other physical or mental health issues that can affect you day to day.
While it’s important to put your best foot forward, this doesn’t always have to mean that you’re on top form on the day of the date. Just make sure you’re upfront with your date beforehand to let them know the situation.
Ultimately, the right person for you will understand if you’re not completely at your best.
You Struggle With Negative Self-Image
Feeling nervous before a first date is totally normal, but when you’re battling negative self-talk, those nerves can skyrocket.
If you’re always nitpicking yourself or dwelling on supposed flaws, it’s tough to feel confident and chill.
This kind of inner dialogue can make you feel insecure and doubtful, and then you’re stuck worrying about how you’ll come across.
You might obsess over how you look, what you’ll say, or if the other person will like you, which can really get in the way of being yourself and having fun.
To counter this, it’s important to build a positive view of yourself and quiet that critical voice. This way, you can tackle dating with confidence and openness.
Does First Date Anxiety Affect a Date?
Yes, first-date nerves can really throw a spanner in the works. When you’re super anxious, it’s tough to stay in the moment and actually enjoy yourself.
Anxiety might cause awkward silences, make you fidgety, or lead to avoiding eye contact, all of which can make it hard to connect.
Instead of just going with the flow and chatting naturally, you might overthink every word or hesitate, which isn’t helpful for real interaction.
Plus, the fear of messing up can make you downplay your personality or interests. But if you know how anxiety can affect you, you can plan ahead and find ways to manage it, helping you come across as your true, awesome self.
Final Thoughts: How to Deal With First-Date Nerves
It’s entirely possible to manage first-date nerves to ensure a successful and enjoyable experience.
Embrace preparation techniques like deep breathing, positive self-talk, and considering professional support to tackle anxiety.
Remember that feeling nervous is normal, but with the right mindset and strategies, you can maintain confidence and enjoy meeting someone new.
Focus on the positive aspects of the date, and let your authentic self shine through.
If you’re looking for more information or advice on love and relationships, the Finding The One blog is full of useful tips and tricks to help you navigate romantic relationships.
Check out the dating red flags you should be on the lookout for on your first date to start your relationship right!
FAQs
Is It Normal to Be Really Nervous on a First Date?
Yes, it’s entirely normal to feel nervous on a first date. Meeting someone new can be both exciting and nerve-wracking. Everyone experiences some level of anxiety, but the key is to manage it and stay authentic.
Do You Have to Feel Chemistry on a First Date?
Not necessarily. Sometimes, chemistry takes time to develop as you get to know the person better. It’s important to keep an open mind on a first date and focus on enjoying the experience rather than solely assessing chemistry.
How Do I Know If My First Date Went Well?
If the conversation flowed naturally, you both laughed or shared personal stories, and there’s a mutual desire to meet again, these are good indicators that the date went well. Trust your instincts and recall any genuine connections felt during the date.
But for peace of mind, check out our 13 sure-fire signs a date went well.
Are First Dates Always a Bit Awkward?
First dates can often be a bit awkward as two people get to know each other. Nervousness and unfamiliarity can lead to moments of awkwardness, but a shared sense of humour and kindness can ease discomfort and create a more relaxed atmosphere.
